9. Kim Jong-Il. He hired Chinese fans to go to the World Cup and pretend to cheer at set points via instructions from the group leader. Truly pathetic.
8. Robert Green. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Was it the worst goalkeeping blunder in World Cup history? Quite possibly.
7. Felipe Melo. Appropriately jeered as he got off the plane in Brazil after their second-half implosion against the Netherlands, Melo has to go down as the primary protagonist of Brazil's self-destruction. He scored the own goal (albeit with some suspect goalkeeping from Julio Cesar) that gave the Netherlands a lifeline and then proceeded to get himself sent off for a stamp on Arjen Robben after Sneijder had put the Dutch ahead. Down a goal and with a man less, Brazil never looked much like getting back in the match.
6. Jorge Larrionda. Already famous in America for his pathetic display during the USA-Italy match four years ago in which he showed three red cards inside of 50 minutes, the English will now have his name forever etched in their indelible record of World Cup disasters. The red card for Pablo Mastroeni's (he's American) tackle four years ago was considered a make-up call for an "error" (which had been the right call) committed earlier in the half. The inexplicable decision not to award Frank Lampard's goal off the underside of the crossbar can be considered nothing but a make-up call for England's goal against Germany 44 years earlier in the World Cup final. Pathetic, truly pathetic
5. Roberto Rossetti. As if the Italian's ignominious departure at the group stage was insufficient to demonstrate the country's importance to international football, Roberto Rosetti (who's actually not to blame, it's his linesman's fault, but I can't find his name anywhere) and his crew decided they had to win Italy some headlines some way, so they decided to allow arguably the most offside goal of all time.
4. Koman Coulibaly. Responsible for the worst refereeing blunder of the tournament when he mysteriously disallowed an 88th minute goal which would have sealed a dramatic comeback win for the United States against Slovenia, his has to go down as one of the worst blunders in World Cup history.
2/3. Mark van Bommel and Nigel de Jong. After I spent 15 minutes debating which was actually the worse of the two, I decided to just put them together. De Jong's obliteration of Xabi Alonso's rib cage via some martial arts technique previously unwitnessed on a football field has to go down as one of the worst challenges in World Cup history. That he got away with it makes him that much more villainous. Mark van Bommel, on the other hand, may be the tournament's most consistent villain. Fouling every chance he got, including a vast number of cringe-inducing challenges (see the 1st half tackle on Andres Iniesta), complaining constantly to the referee, diving, and pretending to have great sportsmanship the whole time solidified his place in the top three.
1. Luis Suarez. It can't be helped. For those of you who say that he was doing what any player would in his situation, you're right, up until the point he starts celebrating the missed PK hysterically and gives a press conference affirming that his is the "real hand of God." If he hadn't been a prick throughout the tournament, maybe he could have gotten away with the most outlandish move since Maradona's "original (now) hand of God," but his constant remonstrations with the referee and persistent diving ensured he would be number one on this list.
0. The most important villain of all has to be FIFA/Sepp Blatter. With a communication department that is strikingly reminiscent of some Orwellian "Department of Information" and a knowledge of public opinion that approaches the incompetence of Sarah Palin, there can be no debating the tournament's primary villain. Everything was lovey-dovey in the glazed-over eyes of FIFA. It was as if someone had pumped nitrous-oxide into their luxury box before the first game and forgotten to turn it off. The officiating was brilliant (NOT, see previous entries on the list), the tournament showcased the great skill of the world's best players (The best players tanked and the skill on display was really rather minimal compared to some World Cup's in the past), and the tournament was a success for South Africa (which may be true up until now, but what they're going to do with the stadia in the future while they're paying off massive public debt remains to be seen). Blatter is nothing short of a humbling-bumbling idiot, who's pig-headed unwillingness to keep the sport modern betrays his fundamental conservatism. It's high time football got itself a competent leader, and hopefully this World Cup goes some way to demonstrating Blatter's mindset has reached the point of being an anachronism.
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