Thanksgiving

Every year, Thanksgiving is a time to be with family and, as the name suggests give thanks for those things that make your life better. This tradition is a great one, and I want to take nothing away from it. I would, however, like to expand in two directions.

First, I'd like to encourage you to express your gratitude to those people who may not know that they have had an impact on your life. Maybe there's someone you interacted with only briefly, but made a huge impact on your life. Or maybe you only got to know someone professionally, but even in that capacity the person made a big impact and doesn't know. These can often be the most rewarding messages of thanks to receive.

Second, it wouldn't be a Digression if it didn't include haughty derisive criticism, so I've compiled a Top 10 list of people and organizations which deserve our thanks in spite of all evidence to the contrary:

10) Jerry Sandusky - Not only did he bring down the best college football program in the FBS, he has managed to consume "news" headlines for practically an entire month. At least we got a little bit of entertainment out of his interview with Bob Costas. Raping little boys is also a big minus. We can, however, thank his case for bringing awareness to institutions that perpetuate systems of hierarchy and oppression.

9) UNESCO - UNESCO is - scratch that - WAS an important organization of the UN. That was before it decided to welcome Palestine as a member. Don't get me wrong, of course Palestine deserves statehood, but the only thing welcoming Palestine into UNESCO did was to cut their funding by 20% because the US was obligated to stop funding them. Now they're considering taking money from Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, the dictator of Equatorial Guinea who has amassed a vast fortune exploiting the have-nots in one of the must unequal societies in the world. Why do we thank UNESCO - for showing how truly incompetent the current iteration of world governance can be.

8) Herman Cain - the man is accused of sexual assault by four women, seems to have no clue of whether Libya is a continent, a country, or the girl next door, and has an odd numerological fascination with the number 9. Cain is proof of just how insane the combination of a fanatic right-wing American public and a media willing to buy into the game show "Anyone But Romney" really is. If anyone ever wakes up and realizes, it will be because This is Herman Cain.

7) Congress - Failed Supercomittee, Passed a reaffirmation of a reaffirmation of the motto "In God We Trust" which was originally passed only 55 years ago, and reaffirmed unnecessarily for the first time 5 years ago. Thank you, for giving everyone else in the country a self-esteem boost. Now we all know that there are people who are even more stubborn, anti-social, and difficult to interact with than we are.

6) Kim Kardashian - You are famous because you are famous. You possess no skills, talents, particular beauty, or anything else that would otherwise distinguish you from most Americans other than your wealth. Nonetheless you have managed to parlay your wealth into fame and that fame into even more wealth. Thank you for epitomising the reproduction of capital. Also, you win an award for most fitting name anagram: Khaki Sin Drama. Yeah, that seems about right.

5) Police - I know, I know, you keep us safe. But you turn up with guns and pepper spray at non-violent Occupy rallies and don't even bother showing up for Tea Party gun rallies? Thank you, for revealing the ridiculousness of weaponry at a non-violent protest, with a special shoutout to the University of California police.

4, 3, 2, and 1) Sporting Bureaucracy. NCAA, FIFA, Bud Selig, Roger Goodell, take your pick. The NCAA, that upstanding body that protects the scholastic integretiy of our young student-athletes, has now decided it too wants a piece of the Jerry Sandusky pie. Thank you for reminding us not to be greedy at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Bud Selig decided his own team should play in the National League, so moved it there a decade ago, creating imbalanced leagues. Now everyone knows why because Major League Baseball paid off the new Houston Astros owner to move to the American League, when the team has always been in the National League. Thank you, for reminding us that conflict of interest ALWAYS results in bad decisions. Roger Goodell lays out indiscriminate and arbitrary fines for "unlawful" hits. Thank you for demonstrating how autocratic rule, even over people who aren't losing anything of value (what's $25,000 out of several million a year?), results in civil discontent. To the NBA Lockout, thank you for reminding us of the utility of collective bargaining, even if you are all greedy bastards. And finally, to FIFA (and Sepp Blatter), thank you for demonstrating the true incompetence of bloated bureaucracy and old age.

So in spite of their mishaps, let's give thanks for these abhorrent people and institutions. If we cannot learn from them, are we really any better than them?

Sepp Blatter is not a Giant Bird

Sepp Blatter, believe it or not, is not a giant bird. There have been some suggestions he is a chicken, and while in the metaphorical sense, this is definitely true, his physical appearance more closely resembles a slightly addled sloth. There have also been a number of suggestions that he is an ostrich. While his head is certainly stuck in the sand, and he does seem to get his feathers ruffled rather easily, I'm glad to report that soccernet.com has officially declared that he is not an ostrich either - see the caption.

This latest report comes amid yet another public relations disaster for the FIFA executive (the possibility of Blatter being a baboon has not yet been categorically denied) in which he claimed that there is no racism on the football pitch. And whatever racism there is can be resolved with a simple handshake at the end of the match.

Several months ago, Blatter came under fire for suggesting that gays and lesbians attending the World Cup in Qatar (the bribery capital of the world) 2022 refrain from engaging in sexual activities. His comments on racism are just another in a long line of obvious ignorance about the oppression of othered peoples in our world.

Perhaps when attempting to find the animal most suited to Blatter's personality, we should be looking a bit larger. He demonstrates all the sensitivity of a horny rhinoceros.

Thoughts on the USMNT friendlies against France and Slovenia

Undoubtedly, these were two difficult tests for the US. Both teams are currently ranked ahead of the US in the FIFA world rankings. Despite its relatively small population, Slovenia has been to the last two World Cups, so they're no pushover. And in spite of their well-publicized implosion in South Africa, the French team has brought in a lot of new blood, and managed to qualify directly for the European Championships next summer.

Given the strength of the opposition, it's not surprising that the US only produced one good half of football (the first against Slovenia). They scored three goals - all three of them well deserved - and had it not been for a miss-of-the century candidate from Jozy Altidore, it may well have been four. It's certainly the best the USMNT has played under Jurgen Klinsmann, and it was refreshing for the fans, who were just beginning to get a little nervous about the lack of offense.

But if it shouldn't have been surprising that the US didn't walk all over Slovenia or get a result against France, it was nevertheless shocking just how bad they were against France and in the second half against Slovenia. They managed to create, without any exaggeration, zero quality opportunities against France. Neither Brek Shea nor Danny Williams knows how to keep the ball, and however good Edu is defensively, he doesn't offer much of anything going forward. The three of them were replaced with Edson Buddle, Fabian Johnson, and Michael Bradley, and the result was the best half of football the US has played since the first half of the Confederations' Cup Final against Brazil.

Buddle was solid up front, converting a difficult chance from distance on the volley, and offering a little more pace and energy than Altidore, although Altidore certainly holds up play better. Fabian Johnson was the revelation of the match against Slovenia, looking consistently comfortable on the ball, with good close control and good passing. Michael Bradley was excellent in the first half, but looked gassed in the second, and his inability to find balls out of the midfield was a big part of the reason why the US did virtually nothing in that second half.

As for the defensive side of things in the two games, the game against France wasn't really bad. The goal, which every one of the commentators said was clearly Clarence Goodson's fault seemed much more like Bocanegra's to me. Bocanegra stepped up, but failed to win the ball. A runner came into his space from the outside (maybe Chandler should have gone with the runner), and Goodson couldn't reach him in time to get the challenge in. Interestingly, Slovenia's first goal was almost a carbon copy. Bocanegra came out, failed to get the ball, and a runner ran into the space he vacated in the back line. Goodson came across, but again, wasn't there in time. But Bocanegra being captain seems to mean that no one commentating wants to say anything against him.

The second half against Slovenia was a disaster, and I think the US can feel a bit lucky to have escaped with a win, even given their stellar first half performance. Even in spite of the fact that the defense certainly outperformed the offense over the course of these two games, I'm left with much more confidence in the offense going forward. I lineup that includes Dempsey, Altidore, Donovan, Bradley, Fabian Johnson, Brek Shea, and Edson Buddle is going to get goals. They're not great players, but they're all good players. With Bocanegra and Cherundolo both nearing the end of their international careers, the player I'd most bet on having a starting role in Brazil 2014 is Timothy Chandler. But he's been tested very little so far.

World Cup Qualifying begins soon for the US, and it won't be an easy task. Mexico, Costa Rica, Honduras, Panama, Guatemala, El Salvador, and Jamaica all have teams capable of beating the US on the right day. The kinks should have been ironed out by now. That they haven't been means the uneasiness will continue until the first really solid full competitive game.

Sexual Assault - Penn State and Herman Cain

After having read my 72nd article on the Herman Cain sexual assault allegations and my 57th article on the sexual abuse of minors by Jerry Sandusky, there no longer remained the possibility of staying silent.

Four women have made allegations of sexual harassment against Herman Cain. He has denied these allegations, blamed everyone from the leftist media to a former employee who now works for the Perry campaign, and used not-so-subtly-coded language to suggest that the whole thing is really about him being a successful black man. Nonetheless, there is still a whole swath of media that insists the same thing - that he's being treated unfairly by the rest of the media.

Now let's compare that to the media surrounding the sex scandal at Penn State. After the first day, when one or two articles featured material from the actual case and were primarily about Jerry Sandusky, the rest of the articles have been about Joe Paterno. The comparison should be between Herman Cain and Jerry Sandusky, but Jerry Sandusky's not a high profile enough figure for national media, so the media has instead focused on Paterno. Will he be forced out? When will he be forced out? When should he be forced out?

Amazingly, the criticisms of Joe Paterno have been more severe than those of Herman Cain. Nobody seems to want to assume anything about Herman Cain. Maybe he harassed and assaulted the women, maybe he didn't. We can't be sure. Everybody seems to want to assume everything about Paterno. He must have known exactly what happened, and he's been criticized for everything: waiting a day to report it up the hierarchy at Penn State; not trying to find out the identity of the child involved; not bringing the case to the police when nothing happened within the administration; not asking enough questions of McQueary. In short, he's been criticized for every action he did and didn't take in the wake of learning something of the incident in the locker room.

Nevertheless, the details of what he knew remain obscure. What Mike McQueary told Paterno remains unknown. There has been no trial of Sandusky, or of anyone else who was indicted for their involvement in the incident. In fact, the District Attorney already said Paterno fulfilled his legal obligation.

Furthermore, Paterno's response in the face of the media frenzy has been positively gracious. He has admitted to not doing enough; he has resigned from program in a way that doesn't totally undermine the football team, to which he has a commitment; and he has offered a very genuine response that indicates he is truly regretful about what has happened.

Compare this with the response of Herman Cain. He insists he doesn't remember the settlement, then later says that he does remember the settlement. He blames the liberal media, the Perry campaign, then the liberal media again. He denies ever having committed any of the acts which the women have claimed that he did. And, guess what? He's still the leading Republican candidate for president in the polls.

And the media seems okay with this - as long as we don't know for sure what happened. Until we do, we shouldn't be too quick to judge. That is the reaction to Cain, but to Paterno, it's entirely the opposite. The ignominious ending to the career of the greatest coach in college football history isn't ignominious enough. He shouldn't be allowed to coach another game, according to some mainstream pundits.

What message does this send about values in our society? Is the sexual assault of children more reprehensible than the sexual assault of women? These two actions are both abhorrent. If we assume guilt, then Herman Cain, the assaulter, should be completely vilified. He should be out of the presidential running entirely. Paterno should be condemned for not doing enough. He should have done more; no one doubts that. But the media's relative harshness towards Paterno is truly astonishing. The man has had a great career. He made a very big error of judgment. It's an error big enough to, rightly, cost him his job and his reputation as a great man. But why has Herman Cain not received the same treatment?