Sepp Blatter is not a Giant Bird

Sepp Blatter, believe it or not, is not a giant bird. There have been some suggestions he is a chicken, and while in the metaphorical sense, this is definitely true, his physical appearance more closely resembles a slightly addled sloth. There have also been a number of suggestions that he is an ostrich. While his head is certainly stuck in the sand, and he does seem to get his feathers ruffled rather easily, I'm glad to report that soccernet.com has officially declared that he is not an ostrich either - see the caption.

This latest report comes amid yet another public relations disaster for the FIFA executive (the possibility of Blatter being a baboon has not yet been categorically denied) in which he claimed that there is no racism on the football pitch. And whatever racism there is can be resolved with a simple handshake at the end of the match.

Several months ago, Blatter came under fire for suggesting that gays and lesbians attending the World Cup in Qatar (the bribery capital of the world) 2022 refrain from engaging in sexual activities. His comments on racism are just another in a long line of obvious ignorance about the oppression of othered peoples in our world.

Perhaps when attempting to find the animal most suited to Blatter's personality, we should be looking a bit larger. He demonstrates all the sensitivity of a horny rhinoceros.