Pirates Continue Losing: Lose 82nd for 20th Straight Season

The Pirates lost their 82^nd game this year.  Ordinarily, this wouldn't be news, but in doing so the Pirates have set two records.  The first is their well-known streak of now 20 consecutive losing season, a North American professional sports record.  The second is that they became the first team ever to be 16 games above .500 after 108 games to not finish the season at .500 or better. 

Nevertheless, you might still not be convinced that this is news.  And maybe you’re right, maybe it’s not news.  “Pirates Continue Losing,” makes for a lousy headline.  But as a 23-year-old Pirates fan and self-admitted sports fanatic, I now have a new sporting emotional low, and I’m going to tell you about why it’s so depressing. 

You’d have to ask my mother, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been a Pirates fan since the womb.  My parents are both Pirates’ fans and my dad’s parents were both Pirates fans as well.  It was never even going to be a choice that I made; it was just going to be the case.  I’m just old enough that, although I have no memory of it, I did attend a couple of Pirates’ games during the playoff years of 1990-1992. 

When we moved to Columbus, Ohio, I remember travelling to Cincinnati to see the Pirates on opening weekend one season.    By that point, I was old enough to read the newspaper, and I would check the sports section every day to find out what the Pirates had done the night before.  When we moved back to Pittsburgh, my family was so excited about being back that we even bought a package of 20 home games for the 2003 season.  That was the team that included Jason Kendall, Brian Giles, Aramis Ramirez, Reggie Sanders, Matt Stairs, and Kenny Lofton.  It was a one of the better teams the Pirates have had since 1992.  They won 75 games that year. 

But Giles, Lofton, Sanders, Stairs, and Ramirez were all gone after that season, and the team went downhill in a hurry.  From 2005-2010 the Pirates averaged just under 65 wins per season.  My family kept going to Pirates games, though.  I remember being there when Freddy Sanchez won the batting title in 2006. 

Of course, the Steelers won the Super Bowl following the 2006 season.  And of course, as any Pittsburgher does, I followed them through the playoffs that year.  And a couple of years later the Steelers and the Penguins both won titles in the same year.  But football was never the first sport (or the second or the third really) in my family, and so although I could experience the excitement of being a part of the celebrations, I never felt the same ownership of them that my friends did. 

Pittsburgh, of course, went absolutely bonkers on all three occasions.  During college, I found myself in Spain and Switzerland, places in which people might have heard of Pittsburgh but they didn’t know a lot about the city.  My one sentence about Pittsburgh is usually that it used to be one of the most important cities to American industry, and now it’s one of the most important cities to American sports.  And I am absolutely convinced that Pittsburgh’s success past in present in the two distinct fields is derived from the pride and commitment of its people. 

There is also no city as crazy about its sports as Pittsburgh is.  When people ask me what there is to do in Pittsburgh, I tell them that for the Pittsburgh experience, they should come when one of the teams is in the playoffs, and go to bars and be amongst the people of Pittsburgh.  It’s a unique experience.  I remember during one of the Steelers’ playoff games, I saw pictures of the biggest shopping center in Pittsburgh.  There weren’t any cars in the middle of the day; it was completely empty.  There wasn't even anyone working.  Can you imagine that happening in New York or Los Angeles or Miami or Phoenix? 

The thing that many people, even Pittsburghers, don’t realize is that the city cares just as deeply about the Pirates.  For a couple of months this summer, the city had the festive atmosphere of a January weekend of playoff football.  PNC Park was full to overflowing every weekend in June and July.  People were talking about the Pirates downtown every day.  And baseball even took precedence over football for the first time in my life. 

I was at the Steelers’ preseason football game during the Pirates’ epic 19-inning thriller in St. Louis.  During the 17^th inning, in which both the Pirates and the Cardinals scored, I was clustered around a tiny monitor in an apparel stall without about 50 other people.  And the result of the game was announced on the loudspeaker after the Pirates won.  At that moment, I was absolutely convinced that the Pirates would win 82 games this year. 

It was too perfect.  Last year, they were playing over .500 baseball when That Call happened, and the Braves were gifted a (yes that’s right) 19-inning victory of the Pirates.  The Pirates win in 19 innings this year against division rivals and fellow playoff contenders St. Louis, and how could they not go on to at least break the streak?  And as I mentioned at the top, what team had ever been 16 games over .500 2/3rds of the way through the season and then not finished at .500 or better?  Oh right, none. 

What I’m building up to here is the idea that there couldn't be a more heartbreaking scenario for sports fans than what has happened to Pirates fans this year.  We live in a city that is absolutely sports-crazy and has one of the best football and hockey teams in the country.  You've been a Pirates fan all your life, and all you want is for them to play slightly above average baseball for a season because, well, you've never seen it.  And all of sudden, for two months in the summer, the Pirates couldn't stop winning.  They were in first place at the All-Star break! 

And then the team disintegrates.  The bullpen goes from being one of the best to one of the worst in the league.  The starting pitching can’t seem to get to the 5^th inning.  Your MVP-candidate All-Star loses 40 points off his batting average in a month and stops hitting home runs.  The defense can’t stop making errors.  It wasn't just the wheels coming off.  It was the wheels, the suspension, the engine, the doors, the mirrors, the windows, the axels, and even the sunroof all breaking at the same time. 

Fortunately, I moved to Chicago in early September, so I haven’t been subjected to the worst part of it.  I haven’t watched virtually every game, as I did through August.  And I haven’t been subjected to the ridicule of Steelers and Penguins fans who just know the Pirates are a joke and always will be.  And it’s not like the Steelers and Penguins fans don’t want  the Pirates to succeed; they do.  It’s just that at the end of the season, they can go back to the Steelers and the Penguins and forget about the Pirates.  But for those of us who are Pirates fans, we have no such luck. 

If the Pirates are lucky, the Steelers will be dreadful this year and the NHL lockout will result in the cancellation of a full season.  The Pirates will be back next year with a talented crop of young outfielders (Marte, McCutchen, Snider), and maybe they’ll sign a pitcher or two over the offseason. 

But if the Pirates are unlucky, the Steelers will make it to the Super Bowl, the Penguins will make a playoff run, and even if the Pirates are playing good baseball into July next year, the question remain: "Will anyone care?"  They might have broken our hearts just one time too many.  

Liverpool 3 - 0 Everton

Gerrard was back in his finest Liverpool from, netting three times as Liverpool gave one of their best performances of the season in the Merseyside derby.  The 3-0 scoreline may have been slightly flattering to the men in red, but Howard had made a number of key saves early to prevent Liverpool from taking the lead, and Liverpool fans may feel the score does indeed accurately reflect the run of play.

Gerrard's delicate chip (with his left foot, no less) over Howard and three Everton defenders for the first goal was sublime and brought back memories of the days when Gerrard was consistently named among the best players in Europe.  A combination of injuries has kept him from his best for over a year now, and it should be inspiring for his teammates to see him firing on all cylinders  again.

Both the second and third goals were created by Suarez.  The little Uruguayan unselfishly squaring the ball back to Gerrard in second-half stoppage time when most strikers would have taken on the shit themselves.  Whether he is shy of confidence or was helping Gerrard get the first Merseyside derby hat trick since the days of Ian Rush, we may never know, but Liverpool fans must be pleased with his performance either way.

In fact there were few Liverpool players who didn't have a good game.  Liverpool fans are likely coming away from the game extremely impressed with Martin Kelly, whose marauding runs down the right flank will be giving Leighton Baines and Steven Pienaar nightmares for the next month.  Perhaps, however, they will be even more content with the combined performances of Carroll and Suarez.  For the first time since their arrival 14 months ago, the two looked as if they knew how to play with each other.  Howard made an excellent save with the score still tied to deny Suarez after he shot one-time from Carroll's knock-on.

Carroll had arguably his best game in a Liverpool shirt.  Beyond combining well with Suarez he looked comfortable on the ball.  His neat touches allowed Liverpool to get out of defense on a number of occasions and his presence in the Liverpool box on Everton set pieces should never be underestimated.  He ran hard without the ball as well, pressuring Everton defenders high up the pitch.

Carragher, Skrtel, and Reina had virtually perfect games.  Spearing seems to have recovered from some of his poorer performances this season and looked more assured with Gerrard by his side.  Downing and Enrique seem to have developed an excellent understanding and combined well down the left.

About the only player who didn't play well was Jordan Henderson.  He was absolutely dreadful against Sunderland on Saturday, and it was something of a surprise to see him out for the start instead of Maxi, Kuyt, or Bellamy.  His passing was substandard and although he's a willing runner, he just wasn't that involved in the play.  He's still young and he has time to grow and develop, but after the last week, he's the signing from the Dalglish era about whom I'm most skeptical.

Everton fans may have been frustrated that their side didn't appear to be the strongest one available to David Moyes.  Commentator Steve McManaman went on and on about how he couldn't believe that Moyes put out such and understrength lineup, but I didn't feel the lineup was that understrength.  The inclusion of Anichebe undoubtedly raised some eyebrows, but I felt the fact that this was even an issue was a real testament to the strength of depth on the Everton roster.  Jagielka and Distin played at center back, which meant Heitinga was excluded.  Seamus Coleman played instead of Leon Osman or Royston Drenthe.  And Anichebe played instead of Cahill or Jelevic.  Of those, only Coleman and Anichebe seem odd selections, and Coleman has been a regular performer for Everton this year.

Both teams will be looking forward to weekend FA Cup quarterfinal fixtures.  Liverpool take on Stoke and Everton host Sunderland.  Both should be cracking fixtures.  Hopefully this result helps Liverpool recover from the blip in form that had resulted in them losing three league games in a row.

Man of the Match: Steven Gerrard.  It's a rather easy contest when all three goals of the match are scored by the same player.  Carroll and Suarez could both have been contenders had the goals been distributed differently, but Gerrard it is.  Welcome back.  Now go grab some more goals, Stevie.

I didn't mention the referee - the best possible compliment that can be paid.  Well done, Phil Dowd.

MLS First Kick, Part Two: Portland 3 - 1 Philadelphia

ESPN revealed why it is the supreme network for football coverage this evening.  Apparently the enormous dearth of commentating talent has resulted in the two worst football commentators known to man being the two color commentators for Major League Soccer's nationally televised games this year.  After I had the displeasure of listening to the insipid comments of Kyle Martino yesterday, I was quite horrified by the prospect of listening to Taylor Twellman during this evening's game.  If anyone can give Martino a run in the World's Worst Football Commentator (WWFC) competition, it's Twellman.  

But the guys in the studio for ESPN were good as usual.  Alexi Lalas's comments are usually insightful and frequently provocative, and this year, ESPN has added Kasey Keller to the crew.  While it felt mildly like he was shouting his insights at the viewers, what he did have to say was worthwhile, and when Lalas offered a particularly negative comment about expansion team Montreal Impact's prospects for this season, Keller was there to offer a little encouragement to their supporters.  

The play-by-play commentator turned out to be none other than every Barca fan's favorite, Adrian Healey, who so consistently waxes poetic about Barcelona that I'm convinced he must have fallen in love there.  He makes me look unbiased when talking about FC Barcelona, not that I'm complaining about his predilections, though.  Needless to say, I've never had an issue with his commentary, and he was in typically eloquent form tonight, making alliteration at will ("pandemonium in Portland") and offering statements that enhanced my enjoyment of the game - something unusual in most sports commentary at the moment.  

What really set ESPN apart however, was the way they must have coached Twellman to just shut up and let Healey do his thing.  Healey's used to commentating on Spanish Primera games for which he's the only commentator, so he doesn't really require a color commentator.  I found tonight that for long periods, I had forgotten that Twellman was even in the booth with him.  Who knows, maybe Twellman just had bowel troubles and was constantly off in the restroom.  Whatever it was, it worked.  Twellman's comments were usually on the worthless side (he went on about Tweeting and e-mailing rather too much), but he did once or twice offer some insight into tactics and movement on the field.  Mostly, though, he allowed Healey to run the show and offered color commentary at down points in the match.  

The game itself was a rather odd affair.  After a first half that could have been an advertisement for the Premier League (30 seconds of the first half followed by a voice-over saying: "You want to watch that?"), the second half turned out to be a thrilling encounter.  Philadelphia got on the board first after a great ball was whipped into the box from a free-kick.  It was officially scored as own goal, which seems at bit harsh, as the shot was on target before a minimal deflection off a Portland player.  

The Union goal seemed to fire up the Timbers, though, and the one- and two-touch passing that coach John Spencer has implemented in Portland started working to great effect.  The pace of Kalif Alhassan, Jorge Perlaza, Diego Chara, and the overlapping fullbacks, and the solid passing of Captain Jack Jewsbury and Eric Alexander really looked like it would pay dividends.  It would be an error from the young Philadelphia goalie, however, that would get Portland back into the game.  A simple header from Andrew Jean-Baptiste (also credited with the own goal) should have been saved by 20-year-old Zac MacMath, but the ball squirted under his arms and into the side netting.  

From that point on, the Timbers didn't look back.  It was Alhassan who created the second - his cross was met by Scotland's finest, Kris Boyd, who headed home on his MLS debut.  It was arguably the best goal of the night, and fully merited by the great play from Portland. 

Portland's third goal also came from Alhassan.  A quick free kick from Jewsbury short down the right flank left Alhassan short, but he took a quick touch around the defender and sent in a lovely chip that he was most likely intended as a cross, but some somehow sailed over the helpless MacMath and into the side netting.  It was a delicate finish, the kind Lionel Messi has been making look commonplace in the last week.  Whether Alhassan meant it or it was a happy accident, it made for beautiful viewing.  

Portland could well be a force to be reckoned with this season.  I have rarely seen an MLS team play one- and two-touch football of the caliber Portland played in the second half.  They really looked like they could have been competing in the English League Championship, or perhaps one of the lesser European leagues (Belgium, Switzerland, maybe the Eredivisie).  

My enthusiasm for Portland's play may well have been influenced by the absolutely marvelous atmosphere inside the stadium.  I don't think there was a minute of the entire match where the fans weren't singing or chanting.  It was veritable pandemonium when Portland scored - flags waving, green smoke bombs turning the entire stadium into that deep green of the Pacific Northwest, fans jumping up and down.  It made me want to hop on a plane to Portland to be sure I could catch the next Timbers game.  

Overall, this was a far better advertisement for American soccer than yesterday's fixture.  Better commentary; better atmosphere; better game.  Who cares that the game didn't feature Thierry Henry?  It featured Kris Boyd, and I'm betting Boyd scores more than Henry this year anyway.  Tonight was the real beginning of MLS season.  A great fixture to mark the start of what we all hope will be a great year.  To MLS!

MLS First Kick 2012 Review

Having only watched 1.5 football matches through the middle of Sunday, I decided I'd take in the first match of the MLS season this afternoon.  Well, at least that's what I thought MLS First Kick would be.  As it turns out, the first matches of the MLS season were yesterday.  Matches?  Yes, there were five of them played yesterday.  And how many of them were televised in the US?  None.  That's right.  The first match of the new season wasn't on television in this country.  Nor was the second, or the third, fourth, or fifth.

Can you imagine if on opening day of baseball season there were no games on television?  Or what if on the first week of NFL season you had to wait until Monday night to watch any football?  There would be public outcry!  People would be irate at the cable companies and the league for not providing access to these events.  But instead, Sunday afternoon rolled around and NBC Sports (my vitriol about them is coming shortly) proceeds to act as if they are broadcasting the first game of the season and talking about what an historic moment this is because it's the first time the MLS is being shown on NBC Sports, a television station which didn't exist at the end of the last MLS season.  Really, it was your first broadcast?  No shit.  

Smartly, NBC Sports decided they wanted to hire experienced commentators.  There had been a lot of complaints about Fox Soccer Channel's MLS coverage over the past few seasons, and going out and getting experienced commentators would fix most of the problem, right?  Well, their first choice was a good one.  NBC Sports hired Arlo White, formerly the Seattle Sounders' play-by-play announcer to be their lead man for MLS telecasts.  I hadn't listened to Arlo White before, but he was excellent today, and I look forward to hearing him commentate on MLS games in the future.  

Of course, NBC Sports couldn't do everything right, could they?  Of course not.  Their second "experienced" commentator - the new color guy for MLS - is really just the OLD color guy for MLS.  Yes, NBC Sports hired everyone's least favorite commentator Kyle which-is-the-team-in-red Martino to be the color man.  I've already gone nuts about Kyle Martino's commentary before, and it looks like I'm going to be doing so regularly again.  Or at least I will until I've gotten so tired of the cacophony of idiocy jingling around in my mind that I decide only to watch the telecasts in Spanish.

As for the football (oh right, it's MLS, soccer), it wasn't that bad.  Henry and Lindpere looked like decent passers of the ball for the Red Bulls while Kenny Cooper was good up front when he came on, and Ricardo Villar, Blas Pérez, Fabian Castillo (until he went off injured), Brek Shea, and Carlos Rodríguez all looked good going forward for Dallas.  Having watched only elite football for the past couple of months, it was difficult not to get frustrated by those times when players simply failed to control the ball and it would roll out for a throw in, or when they would fail to deliver a basic cross while being unmarked.  

Nevertheless, the quality of MLS is higher than it was a decade ago.  I'd proclaim the Beckham Rule to be a success so far.  Players like Beckham, Henry, and Guillermo Barros-Schelotto (when he was playing) have certainly raised the level of play of their colleagues as well.  It was frustrating to watch Henry today, though, as every time his teammates didn't read his mind, he threw a little hissy fit on the field.  As someone not known for that type of behavior, it really must be an indication of just how poor the decision-making of some of the players in MLS is.  

One more gripe about MLS before I sit back and allow us to celebrate the beginning of the season.  I'll be watching the Columbus Crew twice this year. That's how many of their games are being televised.  The number for the LA Galaxy?  14.  This would be understandable if the difference in quality between the two were enormous.  In the Premier League, the best teams consistently play on Sunday afternoon, as both Manchester clubs did today.  But the Crew made the playoffs last year after finishing fourth in the eastern division.  They're a good team - better than the NY Red Bulls (who will be on national TV 15 teams).  And then the league wonders why the fan base is so small in Columbus, Kansas City (6), and Salt Lake City (4). It also makes it harder for these teams to sign players under the Beckham rule in the future because foreign stars are less likely to want to sign for a club they've never heard of.  They would be less likely to go to one of these three cities in the first place, so this television issue isn't causing the problem, but it is exacerbating it.  Here's the full TV schedule (I've omitted the games on Galavisión from my tabulations)  

So now, here's the MLS season - a relatively meaningless venture.  The league title doesn't mean anything.  It's all about the playoffs.  So we'll watch, hoping to be slightly above average for the next five months.  If we are, then we can start caring for real in October.  So here's to a season where I'll never be able to watch my team, want to be deaf after listening to the color commentator for three games, and doesn't mean anything anyway.  And the league wonders why people have a hard time getting excited about soccer in this country...

Language and Politics: Jezebel and The Kony Controversy

As an activist, you know you've made the big time when your material is covered on the front page of the New York Times.  And that was right where Invisible Children's latest viral video has gotten them.  For non-profits like Invisible Children, or the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights where I work, being on the front page of the New York Times is a dream.  Invisible Children already had a few million followers on Facebook, but the New York Times circulation just added another million people who were virtually incapable of missing the news.  In this age where everyone and his mother has started a non-profit, gaining this type of coverage allows an organization to transcend the cacophony of non-profits competing for scarce funding in a Darwinian world where only the fittest at adapting to contemporary media survive.

You'll notice that I didn't mention in that first paragraph that the press was relatively unflattering in its attitude towards the video put out by Invisible Children.  Why?  Because it doesn't matter.  There was coverage from virtually every major news outlet.  The WSJ here and here, The Atlantic here and here... and here and here, the Washington Post here, here, and some more places - well, you're getting the point.  It's been huge.  Having had a number of discussions about western aid campaigns in the developing world, I felt rather like I didn't much need to wade into this shitstorm (named best import from English in German last year).  But then I saw this, excerpted from the Jezebel coverage of Kony, "Fine, I thought, clicking on the video and wondering why the people who usually bombarded me with cat memes and status updates about getting high and eating McDonalds were suddenly fervent supporters of Ugandan children."

I'm not going to dispute the criticisms of the Kony campaign.  They are many, and some of the pages I've linked to in this article do an excellent job offering a very reasonable discussion of the campaign's shortcomings.    After laying into the feminist movement in my blog post from yesterday about its unfortunate exclusion of men I really didn't want to lambaste it again today, but this Jezebel article just got under my skin too much to be ignored.  I'll remind everyone that I'm an ardent feminist - though not as radical as many of my self-identified feminist friends, and that fortunately, very fortunately, Jezebel doesn't speak for the whole movement.  

My point yesterday was that the left so consistently fails at coalition building.  Too many opportunities to bring people into the fold are wasted by those who feel it's not worth their time to explain the complexities of a leftist point of view to those who have a proclivity to share their point of view but don't yet understand its nuances.  And this is exactly what the writers/editors at Jezebel have gone and done with respect to the Kony campaign.  Again, yes, there are problems.  Foreign Policy pointed them out reasonably in a way that most people wouldn't feel personally attacked by reading.  I don't get high, go to McDonald's, or post cat memes on Facebook, and I felt personally attacked.  Jezebel's stance: "If you don't find it ridiculous that people think posting a video on Facebook is doing something activist-y, then you're an idiot!"

What is the point in attacking people for ignorance?  Yes, people need to understand that posting the video isn't saving the world.  They need to understand that there are organizations far more worthy of their $10 contribution than Invisible Children.  They need to comprehend that Invisible Children works with the Ugandan military, which itself has a somewhat equivocal history when it comes to protecting Ugandan citizens.  But screaming at people who don't understand these things that they're stupid faux-activists isn't going to convince them that you're a reasonable person who supports causes in a more efficient manner.  Instead, you wind up looking mildly insane and completely antagonistic towards anyone who's "not smart enough" to see the world the way you do.  

There's an obvious counterargument that I'm sure someone reading this article will consider - that Jezebel isn't designed as a coalition-building site for feminists.  Rather, it is a cathartic forum for hard-core feminists who (rightly) feel marginalized by the world around them and want a safe place to vent their fury.  Such a place should exist, and the online world presents an excellent forum for people who don't have easy access to feminist circles.  Nevertheless, if that place is going to exist, it shouldn't exist as (arguably) the most visible feminist news source on the internet.  As (again, arguably) the most public face of the feminist movement, Jezebel must strive to be more palatable to those not yet acquainted with its perspective.  

I'll try and make my next post on language and politics not be about the feminist movement.  It has just so happened that two incidents in the last two days prompted me to write about its failure to broaden its base of support - a mean I think essential to its ability to achieve its goals.  If any of my readers have suggestions for topics related to language and politics, please let me know.

Language and Politics: 'Slut' and the Idea of Promiscuity

For any man, venturing into women's health topics is an inherently dangerous proposition.  Different types of female feminists encourage more male participation in these conversations while others deride us for failing to fully grasp the issues and insist that we remain out of the discussion altogether.  So I will only treat the periphery of the preeminent political maelstrom of the past two weeks: Rush Limbaugh's rant against Georgetown Law Student Sandra Fluke.

The use of one word in particular struck me as rather odd (thought not from Limbaugh), and that was the word 'slut' - an apparently illogical reference to Fluke having so much sex she couldn't afford all the birth control needed.  Numerous sources have already pointed out that more sex does not, in fact, require more birth control, so I need not address that particular concern.  What do concern me, however, are the value judgments surrounding the frequency with which one has sex.

Limbaugh directed an epithetical use of the word 'slut' at Fluke because in Limbaugh's world, female promiscuity is immediately connoted with immorality.  For Limbaugh and his followers, a woman's morality is inversely correlated with how frequently she has sex.  Now the feminist movement has done extremely well in liberalizing attitudes towards sex.  There is certainly less stigma attached to a woman who has intercourse frequently than there was 50 years ago.  Nevertheless, far too much stigma remains.

However, the feminist movement, and to a certain extent the left more generally, understands that this remains a serious problem.  In fact, while not often, sometimes a feminist woman can feel that having lots of sex makes a political statement.  Unfortunately, it probably does.  But if we are to truly transcend a world of stigmatized sex (including orientation) we must also move beyond correlating, in any way, frequency of sex with any moral value.

As I mentioned already, the left has done a decent job of understanding this as it pertains to women.  The stigma is not anywhere near gone, but the left at least understands that it is an issue that must be dealt with.  Unfortunately, the less severe but just as frequent stigmatization of men who have relatively little sex remains rather absent from these conversations.  In fact, negative moral judgment of men who have little sex is simply the flip side of the same coin.

When this alternative but highly related issue is ignored in conversations like the one about Limbaugh's assault on Fluke, an enormous opportunity is lost.  Men can simply brush off the entire discussion as relating only to women's issues.  If we are not constantly reminded that the stigmatization surrounding gender norms is oppressive of both men and women, men will forget that they are stakeholders in the conversation.  In large part, I believe this has been the single greatest failing of the feminist movement to date.

Of course, we are all stakeholders in these issues even when we are not directly oppressed by them.  Institutionalized racism in the United States is bad not just for racial minorities, but for whites as well.  And we have already seen how draconian immigration laws in Alabama have resulted in the incarceration of corporate executives and the ire of Alabaman farmers who have no one to pick their crops.  But when discussions surrounding these issues focus only on the marginalization, it is easy to forget the ways in which those not directly marginalized benefit from the destigmatization of oppressive social norms.

As leftist theory moves into its 3rd century (pre-Marx, it's difficult to conceive of a left-right political spectrum), it is time to make men more central to feminism, it is time to make whites more central to the elimination of racism, and it is time to make straight people more central to the fight to end homophobia.  Leftist variety of all sorts must cease to view these groups as the "oppressors" and begin to reach out and explain how they, too, are marginalized by oppressive norms.  The onus must be on the left to convince those who don't live the oppression consciously and daily what is at stake for them in these debates.

American Theocracy: Americanism

It is my contention that American society is not, first and foremost, a democracy.  Although it contains some key democratic elements, American society much more closely resembles a theocracy than any other concept of government. 

What is a theocracy?  There are several definitions.  From Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary, 1977: “literally, the rule of a state by God or a god.”  Less, literal, but more helpful is Webster’s 7^th New Collegiate Dictionary, 1967: “government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials regarded as divinely guided.”  And more comprehensively is The American Political Dictionary, 1982: “any political system in which political power is exercised directly or indirectly by a clergy, and in which church law is superior to or replaces civil law.  The implication is that decisions are made by a Supreme Being and are transmitted to human beings through agents who rule in a theocracy.”

Such a definition is, however, still a little narrow.  It seems to correlate theocracy only with Christian rule.  Obviously, a theocracy could exist in which church law is not Christian law, but rather Koranic (Sharia) or Talmudic or Confucian law.  So we could amend the definition to say ‘religious law’ in place of ‘church law.’  Those who do not yet see where this is going will likely point out that our Congressmen and Senators are surely the furthest thing imaginable from a collective of religious leaders.  Insofar as religious leaders are supposed to be the moral conscience of our society, politicians are clearly as far from a moral conscience as possible.

But what is the religion of the United States?  Christianity, you might say.  Well, 55% of Americans agree with you, but I’m not here to debate that point.  The Constitution clearly indicates the separation of church and state.  Christianity is NOT the state-sanctioned religion of the United States.  So what is?  Americanism. 

And so we’re back to definitions – what is Americanism?  Americanism combines a belief in politicized American Exceptionalism (that America is the best country in the world) with a devotion to all things America.  What’s great about Americanism is that it’s not exclusive.  You can be an Americanist and a Christian or an Americanist and a Muslim or a Jew or an Atheist.  Nevertheless, Americanism has many of the same components that other organized religions have. 

What are the essential components of organized religion? 

Scriptures.  Americanism has the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution – Check. 

Deity or Deities.  Americanism has a whole host of people, referred to colloquially as the Founding Fathers (no religious overtones there).  George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Adams, Thomas Jefferson, etc., etc., etc. – Check. 

Places of worship.  If you’re an Americanist, like other religions, you must pay homage to the deities.  You do so at the temples constructed in their honor: the Washington Monument, the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial.  These temples are even constructed in the Ancient Greek style so as to evoke the only polytheistic tradition with which many Americans are familiar – Super Check.

A clergy.  The role of the clergy in traditional religion is to help the ordinary citizen interpret the scriptures.  This role in America is played out by politicians generally, but by the courts in particular.  At the highest level, Supreme Court Justices interpret the meaning of the Constitution so that it can be understood and obeyed by all Americanists.  They even wear clothing that distinguishes them from ordinary citizens – Check.

There exist innumerable other similarities.  How does one become a member of most organized religion?  The vast majority of followers of any particular religion arrive there by birth and upbringing.  The same is true of Americanism.  One becomes an Americanist by being taught throughout his or her upbringing that America is the greatest country in the world and that her Founding Fathers were divinely inspired. 

Of course, like other religions, Americanism does allow for converts.  I’m not speaking about immigrants.  I would argue that most immigrants are actually raised Americanists, that they were Americanists long before moving to the United States.  When I speak of converts to Americanism, I’m speaking of people who are initially raised not within the Americanist tradition but then come to it later.  They first believe that America isn’t any better than other countries, or perhaps even worse, but eventually they are persuaded that America is, in fact, better.

Furthermore, like Christianity for example, certain followers can become sanctified.  Such seems to have been the case with John F. Kennedy, and is gradually becoming the case with Ronald Reagan.  These are people who were so unwavering in their commitment to the Americanist cause that they are deserving of worship.  Currently there is debate over the manner in which Dwight D. Eisenhower’s transcendence is managed.

Moreover, Americanism has a long history of waging war to assert its righteousness.  Like the crusades, which attempted to demonstrate that the Christian God was the one, true, God, Americanism waged a genocide against the indigenous population of North America to assert its dominance.  This, coupled with imperialistic aims around the world (see the Philippines, Cuba, Grenada, Nicaragua, Panama, Colombia, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, etc., etc., etc.) has created an enormous swath of the world that buys at least part way into the Americanist vision. 

So when I say that the United States is a theocracy supported by the official religion of Americanism, I mean that any other perspective is so far removed from the public discourse as to be politically untenable.  Part of the Americanist tradition is freedom of religion, so one isn’t forced to be an Americanist by virtue of being an American.  However, not to be an Americanist is to be excluded from public discourse by the hegemonic ubiquity of Americanism.  To participate in the governance of the country, one must agree with the ideas of divinely inspired Founding Fathers and an exceptional history, and  possess blind faith in the greatness of the United States.

Thanksgiving

Every year, Thanksgiving is a time to be with family and, as the name suggests give thanks for those things that make your life better. This tradition is a great one, and I want to take nothing away from it. I would, however, like to expand in two directions.

First, I'd like to encourage you to express your gratitude to those people who may not know that they have had an impact on your life. Maybe there's someone you interacted with only briefly, but made a huge impact on your life. Or maybe you only got to know someone professionally, but even in that capacity the person made a big impact and doesn't know. These can often be the most rewarding messages of thanks to receive.

Second, it wouldn't be a Digression if it didn't include haughty derisive criticism, so I've compiled a Top 10 list of people and organizations which deserve our thanks in spite of all evidence to the contrary:

10) Jerry Sandusky - Not only did he bring down the best college football program in the FBS, he has managed to consume "news" headlines for practically an entire month. At least we got a little bit of entertainment out of his interview with Bob Costas. Raping little boys is also a big minus. We can, however, thank his case for bringing awareness to institutions that perpetuate systems of hierarchy and oppression.

9) UNESCO - UNESCO is - scratch that - WAS an important organization of the UN. That was before it decided to welcome Palestine as a member. Don't get me wrong, of course Palestine deserves statehood, but the only thing welcoming Palestine into UNESCO did was to cut their funding by 20% because the US was obligated to stop funding them. Now they're considering taking money from Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, the dictator of Equatorial Guinea who has amassed a vast fortune exploiting the have-nots in one of the must unequal societies in the world. Why do we thank UNESCO - for showing how truly incompetent the current iteration of world governance can be.

8) Herman Cain - the man is accused of sexual assault by four women, seems to have no clue of whether Libya is a continent, a country, or the girl next door, and has an odd numerological fascination with the number 9. Cain is proof of just how insane the combination of a fanatic right-wing American public and a media willing to buy into the game show "Anyone But Romney" really is. If anyone ever wakes up and realizes, it will be because This is Herman Cain.

7) Congress - Failed Supercomittee, Passed a reaffirmation of a reaffirmation of the motto "In God We Trust" which was originally passed only 55 years ago, and reaffirmed unnecessarily for the first time 5 years ago. Thank you, for giving everyone else in the country a self-esteem boost. Now we all know that there are people who are even more stubborn, anti-social, and difficult to interact with than we are.

6) Kim Kardashian - You are famous because you are famous. You possess no skills, talents, particular beauty, or anything else that would otherwise distinguish you from most Americans other than your wealth. Nonetheless you have managed to parlay your wealth into fame and that fame into even more wealth. Thank you for epitomising the reproduction of capital. Also, you win an award for most fitting name anagram: Khaki Sin Drama. Yeah, that seems about right.

5) Police - I know, I know, you keep us safe. But you turn up with guns and pepper spray at non-violent Occupy rallies and don't even bother showing up for Tea Party gun rallies? Thank you, for revealing the ridiculousness of weaponry at a non-violent protest, with a special shoutout to the University of California police.

4, 3, 2, and 1) Sporting Bureaucracy. NCAA, FIFA, Bud Selig, Roger Goodell, take your pick. The NCAA, that upstanding body that protects the scholastic integretiy of our young student-athletes, has now decided it too wants a piece of the Jerry Sandusky pie. Thank you for reminding us not to be greedy at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Bud Selig decided his own team should play in the National League, so moved it there a decade ago, creating imbalanced leagues. Now everyone knows why because Major League Baseball paid off the new Houston Astros owner to move to the American League, when the team has always been in the National League. Thank you, for reminding us that conflict of interest ALWAYS results in bad decisions. Roger Goodell lays out indiscriminate and arbitrary fines for "unlawful" hits. Thank you for demonstrating how autocratic rule, even over people who aren't losing anything of value (what's $25,000 out of several million a year?), results in civil discontent. To the NBA Lockout, thank you for reminding us of the utility of collective bargaining, even if you are all greedy bastards. And finally, to FIFA (and Sepp Blatter), thank you for demonstrating the true incompetence of bloated bureaucracy and old age.

So in spite of their mishaps, let's give thanks for these abhorrent people and institutions. If we cannot learn from them, are we really any better than them?

Sepp Blatter is not a Giant Bird

Sepp Blatter, believe it or not, is not a giant bird. There have been some suggestions he is a chicken, and while in the metaphorical sense, this is definitely true, his physical appearance more closely resembles a slightly addled sloth. There have also been a number of suggestions that he is an ostrich. While his head is certainly stuck in the sand, and he does seem to get his feathers ruffled rather easily, I'm glad to report that soccernet.com has officially declared that he is not an ostrich either - see the caption.

This latest report comes amid yet another public relations disaster for the FIFA executive (the possibility of Blatter being a baboon has not yet been categorically denied) in which he claimed that there is no racism on the football pitch. And whatever racism there is can be resolved with a simple handshake at the end of the match.

Several months ago, Blatter came under fire for suggesting that gays and lesbians attending the World Cup in Qatar (the bribery capital of the world) 2022 refrain from engaging in sexual activities. His comments on racism are just another in a long line of obvious ignorance about the oppression of othered peoples in our world.

Perhaps when attempting to find the animal most suited to Blatter's personality, we should be looking a bit larger. He demonstrates all the sensitivity of a horny rhinoceros.

Thoughts on the USMNT friendlies against France and Slovenia

Undoubtedly, these were two difficult tests for the US. Both teams are currently ranked ahead of the US in the FIFA world rankings. Despite its relatively small population, Slovenia has been to the last two World Cups, so they're no pushover. And in spite of their well-publicized implosion in South Africa, the French team has brought in a lot of new blood, and managed to qualify directly for the European Championships next summer.

Given the strength of the opposition, it's not surprising that the US only produced one good half of football (the first against Slovenia). They scored three goals - all three of them well deserved - and had it not been for a miss-of-the century candidate from Jozy Altidore, it may well have been four. It's certainly the best the USMNT has played under Jurgen Klinsmann, and it was refreshing for the fans, who were just beginning to get a little nervous about the lack of offense.

But if it shouldn't have been surprising that the US didn't walk all over Slovenia or get a result against France, it was nevertheless shocking just how bad they were against France and in the second half against Slovenia. They managed to create, without any exaggeration, zero quality opportunities against France. Neither Brek Shea nor Danny Williams knows how to keep the ball, and however good Edu is defensively, he doesn't offer much of anything going forward. The three of them were replaced with Edson Buddle, Fabian Johnson, and Michael Bradley, and the result was the best half of football the US has played since the first half of the Confederations' Cup Final against Brazil.

Buddle was solid up front, converting a difficult chance from distance on the volley, and offering a little more pace and energy than Altidore, although Altidore certainly holds up play better. Fabian Johnson was the revelation of the match against Slovenia, looking consistently comfortable on the ball, with good close control and good passing. Michael Bradley was excellent in the first half, but looked gassed in the second, and his inability to find balls out of the midfield was a big part of the reason why the US did virtually nothing in that second half.

As for the defensive side of things in the two games, the game against France wasn't really bad. The goal, which every one of the commentators said was clearly Clarence Goodson's fault seemed much more like Bocanegra's to me. Bocanegra stepped up, but failed to win the ball. A runner came into his space from the outside (maybe Chandler should have gone with the runner), and Goodson couldn't reach him in time to get the challenge in. Interestingly, Slovenia's first goal was almost a carbon copy. Bocanegra came out, failed to get the ball, and a runner ran into the space he vacated in the back line. Goodson came across, but again, wasn't there in time. But Bocanegra being captain seems to mean that no one commentating wants to say anything against him.

The second half against Slovenia was a disaster, and I think the US can feel a bit lucky to have escaped with a win, even given their stellar first half performance. Even in spite of the fact that the defense certainly outperformed the offense over the course of these two games, I'm left with much more confidence in the offense going forward. I lineup that includes Dempsey, Altidore, Donovan, Bradley, Fabian Johnson, Brek Shea, and Edson Buddle is going to get goals. They're not great players, but they're all good players. With Bocanegra and Cherundolo both nearing the end of their international careers, the player I'd most bet on having a starting role in Brazil 2014 is Timothy Chandler. But he's been tested very little so far.

World Cup Qualifying begins soon for the US, and it won't be an easy task. Mexico, Costa Rica, Honduras, Panama, Guatemala, El Salvador, and Jamaica all have teams capable of beating the US on the right day. The kinks should have been ironed out by now. That they haven't been means the uneasiness will continue until the first really solid full competitive game.

Sexual Assault - Penn State and Herman Cain

After having read my 72nd article on the Herman Cain sexual assault allegations and my 57th article on the sexual abuse of minors by Jerry Sandusky, there no longer remained the possibility of staying silent.

Four women have made allegations of sexual harassment against Herman Cain. He has denied these allegations, blamed everyone from the leftist media to a former employee who now works for the Perry campaign, and used not-so-subtly-coded language to suggest that the whole thing is really about him being a successful black man. Nonetheless, there is still a whole swath of media that insists the same thing - that he's being treated unfairly by the rest of the media.

Now let's compare that to the media surrounding the sex scandal at Penn State. After the first day, when one or two articles featured material from the actual case and were primarily about Jerry Sandusky, the rest of the articles have been about Joe Paterno. The comparison should be between Herman Cain and Jerry Sandusky, but Jerry Sandusky's not a high profile enough figure for national media, so the media has instead focused on Paterno. Will he be forced out? When will he be forced out? When should he be forced out?

Amazingly, the criticisms of Joe Paterno have been more severe than those of Herman Cain. Nobody seems to want to assume anything about Herman Cain. Maybe he harassed and assaulted the women, maybe he didn't. We can't be sure. Everybody seems to want to assume everything about Paterno. He must have known exactly what happened, and he's been criticized for everything: waiting a day to report it up the hierarchy at Penn State; not trying to find out the identity of the child involved; not bringing the case to the police when nothing happened within the administration; not asking enough questions of McQueary. In short, he's been criticized for every action he did and didn't take in the wake of learning something of the incident in the locker room.

Nevertheless, the details of what he knew remain obscure. What Mike McQueary told Paterno remains unknown. There has been no trial of Sandusky, or of anyone else who was indicted for their involvement in the incident. In fact, the District Attorney already said Paterno fulfilled his legal obligation.

Furthermore, Paterno's response in the face of the media frenzy has been positively gracious. He has admitted to not doing enough; he has resigned from program in a way that doesn't totally undermine the football team, to which he has a commitment; and he has offered a very genuine response that indicates he is truly regretful about what has happened.

Compare this with the response of Herman Cain. He insists he doesn't remember the settlement, then later says that he does remember the settlement. He blames the liberal media, the Perry campaign, then the liberal media again. He denies ever having committed any of the acts which the women have claimed that he did. And, guess what? He's still the leading Republican candidate for president in the polls.

And the media seems okay with this - as long as we don't know for sure what happened. Until we do, we shouldn't be too quick to judge. That is the reaction to Cain, but to Paterno, it's entirely the opposite. The ignominious ending to the career of the greatest coach in college football history isn't ignominious enough. He shouldn't be allowed to coach another game, according to some mainstream pundits.

What message does this send about values in our society? Is the sexual assault of children more reprehensible than the sexual assault of women? These two actions are both abhorrent. If we assume guilt, then Herman Cain, the assaulter, should be completely vilified. He should be out of the presidential running entirely. Paterno should be condemned for not doing enough. He should have done more; no one doubts that. But the media's relative harshness towards Paterno is truly astonishing. The man has had a great career. He made a very big error of judgment. It's an error big enough to, rightly, cost him his job and his reputation as a great man. But why has Herman Cain not received the same treatment?

Manchester United 2 - 1 Barcelona

This past weekend, I ventured down to Washington, D.C. to attend the preseason match between Manchester United and FC Barcelona. The match, as you most likely know if you're reading this, ended 2-1 in favor of the Red Devils. But the point of attending a preseason soccer match is not in the hope that your team win (although that's a lovely benefit if it does happen), but rather to see the players you idolize and watch your team play in person.

Having had the benefit of watching Barcelona play in Málaga in 2009, getting to a preseason fixture like this is something of luxury. Nevertheless, for those of us European soccer fans in the United States, the opportunity to watch your team play only comes along every so often, and I feel very fortunate to have had this opportunity.

In all honesty, the match was a little bit lackluster. The temperature in DC was brutally hot, and it being early in the season, especially for the Barcelona players (who started two weeks after the United players), the players looked a little bit tired at times. Nani was quite lively for United, scoring the first goal from what appeared to be an offside position, although admittedly I haven't seen any replays. When I asked the 10-year-old Spanish-speaking kid next to me wearing a Barcelona jersey if Nani was indeed offside, he rolled his eyes as if to say "you're wearing a Barcelona jersey too, of course he was offside," as he responded with an enthusiastic "Sí!"

For Barcelona, Thiago looked to be the best player on the pitch. Admittedly, Barcelona were without a number of their best players, with Mascherano, Alves, and Messi all still resting after Copa América, and Puyol, Piqué, and Xavi not dressed for the match. Iniesta looked good, and he ran the Barcelona offense quite well. His direction was evident even to my relatively soccer-ignorant father, who noted that United didn't have a single player bossing the attack the way Barcelona did. Thiago was livelier than Iniesta, however, and it was fitting that he got the equalizer - a lovely shot from just outside the box that sailed into the top right corner, past his stationary Spain-U21 teammate David de Gea.

As the benches emptied and the reserves got their chance, the Barcelona defense gifted the ball to Tom Cleverley who had to do very little to put Michael Owen clean through on goal. Owen, miraculously finished well to put United ahead, but made up for the unusually clean finish with a candidate for miss of the century a few minutes later. Being a Liverpool fan meant that watching Owen, a man who has traitor status on Merseyside, miss was one of the highlights of the match.

The referee was unusually involved in the match, awarding a number of fouls, but everyone realized it was a friendly about midway through the second half when Jonathan dos Santos, deputizing at right back while Alves is still on holiday, brought down Welback badly. In any competitive fixture the foul certainly would have elicited a second yellow card, but the referee merely had stern words with Jonathan and that was that.

The only other item of note from the game was Barcelona substitute Carlos Carmona, who looked quite lively for the duration of his time on the pitch.

One of the nice parallels for me in witnessing this match was that I had seen the same fixture nine years ago at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia - the first ever sporting event in that venue. What a difference a half-decade of world dominance makes for Barcelona! Nine years ago, when Barcelona scored (a beautiful chipped ball from Ronaldinho for Patrick Kluivert who smashed home a header), the only other Barcelona fan anywhere near me was an enormous guy sitting about three rows behind me, who reached over several people to wring my hand in celebration after the goal. The makeup of the fans in that game was probably about 85% in favor of United. At Fed Ex Field on Saturday, the breakdown was closer to 50-50, and I had the fortune of sitting in a predominantly pro-Barca section.

To be part of such a festive atmosphere was truly wonderful, in spite of the heat. Fed Ex Field proved to be a worthy venue for such a historic fixture; it is not common that the Champions League finalists meet again before the start of the next season. The stadium employees were friendly and accommodating, and the atmosphere created by the fans was lively indeed.

Final assessment: United look an excellent team and must be favorites for another Premier League title. It's still too early in the season to judge much about the Barcelona side. After watching this game, one can only wonder why in the world they are pursuing Cesc Fabregas. Quite frankly, Thiago looks the better player, and he's younger. He made United's defense look downright silly at times, and that's arguably the best defense in the world. Look for both of these teams to go deep into the Champions League; another final between the two would be a dream come true for fans around the world.

Jurgen Klinsmann to Replace Bob Bradley

A brief update on the position of USMNT head coach which I wrote about yesterday upon hearing the news that Bob Bradley had been relieved of his duties:

Jurgen Klinsmann has been named as Bob Bradley's successor today. Yesterday I gave three skills that I thought absolutely imperative to any new head coach: elite-level experience, tactical nous, and the ability to accurately assess skill levels of players.

Regarding the first of these, elite-level experience, Klinsmann more than fits the bill. Not only was he a world-class player in four elite leagues for a decade and a half, he also managed the German national team to a World Cup semifinal (and eventual third place) on home soil in 2006. Bruce Arena coached the USMNT to a solitary point that year. Klinsmann, then, has far more experience at the highest level than any head coach in recent history.

With respect to the second qualification, tactical nous, Klinsmann's resume is a little more unclear. It's been written in a number of places that Klinsmann's assistant with the German national team in 2006, Joachim Low (now head coach), was the man primarily responsible for the brilliant tactics played by Germany in that tournament that saw them go so deep into the knockout stages. Nobody had been expecting Germany to progress particularly far in the tournament, but they played brilliantly. The fact that Low has had such immediate success (Euro 2008 finals, World Cup 2010 semifinal - lost to champions Spain in both competitions), has lead to even more speculation that it was he, not Klinsmann who was the mastermind of the 2006 team.

Finally, the third skill set I deemed imperative was being a capable judge of talent. Although Klinsmann's ability to judge talent hasn't ever been tested in the way it will coaching the USMNT, he compensates for this unknown with the fact that he was the only foreign head coach on the market who has significant experience in American soccer. Klinsmann has lived int he US for some time, and has been consulting with Toronto F.C. in MLS. Klinsmann's additional experience in American soccer does give him that added edge.

But Klinsmann possesses another skill in great abundance that I think may result in his success as head coach of the USMNT: Klinsmann is an excellent motivator. He consistently gets the best out of his players, something that many, myself included, felt Bob Bradley failed to do with alarming consistency. Bradley never seemed to be much of a disciplinarian and Klinsmann may be stricter, but he is also, undoubtedly more motivational. Nobody could possibly have less charisma than Bob Bradley and fans always got the sense that his lack of charisma probably accounted for some less than fully motivated displays by the team. Again, this is an area in which Klinsmann will not have such problems.

In many ways, Klinsmann's appointment was inevitable. If the rumors are to be believed, Sunil Gulati, president of the USSF, had approached Klinsmann twice previously, first in 2006 when Bob Bradley was hired, and again when Bob Bradley signed a new contract just last year. Klinsmann was always going to be Gulati's man. Time will tell if the fact that Gulati got him was actually a good thing for American soccer.

Bob Bradley Fired by USSF

Fans of the US Men's National Team (USMNT) have long been divided over the performance of coach Bob Bradley. Some think he's one of the best coaches the team has ever had, while others think he's not worth the Gatorade the team drinks during one friendly match. His departure offers us the opportunity to take that issue in more depth and to think about what the team needs to move forward and be successful during the next World Cup cycle.

Bob Bradley has presided over a number of thrilling moments for the USMNT over the last five years. Starting with the Gold Cup victory over Mexico in 2007, which qualified the US for the 2009 Confederations' Cup, Bradley produced a series of good results. The Confederations' Cup looked all but lost in the group stage until the US pulled out a miraculous 3-0 victory against Egypt in the last match to proceed on goal difference. Then in the knockout stages, the US upset world number one Spain 2-0 to reach the final against Brazil. In the final, the US took a 2-0 lead in at the break, but a bit of bad luck saw Luis Fabiano equalize less than a minute into the second half and the Americans would eventually capitulate 3-2. It was a wonderful run, and even the group stage game against Italy (which the US lost 3-1) had seen them up for a period of time.

And the USMNT's performance wasn't too shabby at the World Cup this past year either. They did well to squeak out a draw against number one seed England, and then effectively won the game against Slovenia, although the final scoreline read 2-2 courtesy of hallucinating referee Koman Coulibaly. And who could possibly forget the win against Algeria? It must rank among the best ever moments in USMNT history.

But the World Cup was marred by allowing a succession of early goals. Steven Gerrard scored inside 10 minutes for England, the Slovenians scored an early goal, Algeria hit the woodwork early on, and Ghana scored inside ten minutes in both regular time and extra-time. Ricardo Clark never played well (and was the man primarily responsible for the early goals from England and Ghana), yet continued to play throughout the tournament in spite of Maurice Edu's consistently solid play.

Bob Bradley provided similarly perplexing roster selections at this year's Gold Cup, deciding to bring Landon Donovan off the bench for a series of knockout stage games. Jermaine Jones was preferred alongside Michael Bradley in the middle of the park which meant that again, Maurice Edu was left off the pitch. The US promptly blew a two-goal lead in the final against Mexico. When the US went up 2-0, Bradley should have realized that it was a lead that should have been defended. Both US goals went against the run of play, but instead of making defensive substitutions he made attacking ones.

All of this points to a mixed track record for Bradley at the helm of the USMNT. Some players have performed well - Clint Dempsey, Steve Cherundolo, son Michael Bradley, and Carlos Bocanegra have been quite consistent under coach Bob Bradley, but others who promised much have fizzled out. That list includes Jozy Altidore, Maurice Edu (due to lack of opportunities), Stuart Holden (due to injuries), Benny Feilhaber, Oguchi Onyewu, and most famously, Freddy Adu.

So what does the USMNT need in a new head coach?

1) Elite level experience. The US hasn't had a coach who has been well-known anywhere but the United States in recent memory and it's time for that to change. Bradley and Bruce Arena, his predecessor, both had long histories in US soccer, but neither had the boatloads of experience abroad required to be highly successful at that level. With a majority of the starting 11 playing overseas and the demands being more than regional success, an international coach is the only option. The third reason is that there isn't a qualified American candidate.

2) A tactician. The USMNT has capable players. Everyone in the soccer media is talking about it as a transition time for the USMNT, but that seems a little bit premature. Clint Dempsey will be 31 at the next World Cup, Donovan 32, and Tim Howard 35. They should still all be excellent players then. The lackluster performances of the last year have not entirely been due to lack of talent; some of the blame must be in the tactics the US has employed. Someone who can bring tactical nous and discipline to a squad of good players, then, is a must.

3) A good judge of talent. So many players have been used by the USMNT during Bob Bradley's tenure as head coach that any new coach will certainly have to be aware of the plethora of options available. Bradley has undoubtedly left out many good players and, as is clearly the case, included some who are not up to par.

I think a more interesting question is how the USSF will go about hiring a new head coach. Their decisions have frequently been more about making money than about the success of the team on the pitch. Scheduling the Gold Cup Final, a game always likely to pit the US against arch-rivals Mexico, in Pasadena, CA, among the regions of the country most highly populated by Mexican-Americans is only the latest in a long line of such financial decisions. Back in 1985, during qualifying for the 1986 World Cup in Mexico, the US needed only a draw against Costa Rica to progress to the final round of qualifying. Nevertheless the USSF scheduled the game in an area densely populated by Costa Rican-Americans and marketed the game to them. The US lost 1-0 and didn't qualify for the World Cup. That is to say, I have my doubts that the USSF will go out and hire a top tier coach because a top tier coach will coast top tier money, and that's money the USSF has never been ready to part with. We'll know soon enough, I'm sure.

MLS All-Star Game Massacre

100 years from now, they'll call this game The Red Bull Arena Massacre. Well actually, they probably won't. Nobody will remember the game because it was among the most forgettable one-sided victories I've seen. I suppose there's only so much you can expect from an All-Star game, but I was still left disappointed.

The goals for Manchester United were good goals, especially the first two. Berbatov had to rely on a bit of luck for the third and the fourth came courtesy of a deflection. Although Manchester United didn't dominate the first half, they certainly did the second, even after a number of their best players left the pitch around the sixty minute mark. Rooney, Anderson, and Park looked the best players out there in the first half, with the only player worthy of remark for MLS was David Beckham, for his wonderful distribution.

The game served to highlight just how far behind world class football the MLS really is. When Tim Ream, a player benched by the US National team during the Gold Cup for his lousy play against teams like Panama and Grenada, gets the start at center-back, you know things are bad. Don't get me wrong, Ream performs extremely well in MLS, but the fact that he is the best central defender in the league is a sad testament to the league's talent.

Juan Agudelo had a nice cameo off the bench, looking somewhat dangerous, which does say something about his potential to be a dangerous forward for the USMNT for a long time to come, but he's still young, and anything could happen. Shalrie Joseph, Kyle Beckerman and Brad Davis were the only other players who stood out at all for the MLS All-Stars.

It was a long night for the MLS players, but the experience of playing against Manchester United is one which will not soon be forgotten. It was a wonderful opportunity, but unfortunately left the MLS fans disillusioned and disappointed. It was particularly disappointing to see so many Americans in the crowd cheering for Manchester United. Even if the MLS All-Stars had been playing against Liverpool or Barcelona, I would have been rooting for them to score goals and play good soccer, even to win!

I'll have a post for everyone after my trip to the rematch of the Champions League Final between Barcelona and Manchester United this weekend.

2011 Tour de France Awards

These awards are compiled after thoughtful consideration by the author. They are influenced by the overall results of all of the various competitions and individual stage results, in addition to a subjective component.

Best Teams. It seems unclear how this should be measured, but accomplishing the goals set out for the team at the beginning of the Tour seems a good tool for assessment.

1) Garmin-Cervelo: Won four stages, the overall team competition, and placed a rider in the top 10 overall. They also had the yellow jersey for a week. It's difficult to ask for much more than that.

2) BMC: They did only one thing, but that one thing was winning the Tour de France.

3) HTC-Highroad: They didn't manage to have either Peter Velits or Tony Martin challenge for a high overall place, but they did win six stages, 5 with Mark Cavendish and 1 with Martin.

4) Europcar: They're higher up than they might otherwise be because they're a small team with a small budget, which they exceeded to the maximum. 10 days in yellow, winning the stage to Alpe d'Huez, and 4th and 11th overall. A good Tour by almost anyone's standards.

5) Leopard-Trek: They finished with two men on the podium and went one-two on the queen stage. They also had the yellow jersey for a day, and all nine riders finished the race.

6) Omega-Pharma-Lotto: Even without team captain Jurgen van den Broeck, the team managed three stage wins, a day in the yellow jersey, and runs in both the king of the mountains and green points jerseys. The unknown Jelle Vanendert, sprinter Andre Greipel, and classics specialist Philippe Gilbert all did their part.

Five worst teams.

22) Saur-Sojasur: They were totally anonymous. They made a few breaks, but never came close to winning anything. The fact that Jerome Coppel made the top 15 overall is something of an enigma because he was never with the leaders on the climbs, so it's not totally clear how he managed such a high finish.

21) Radioshack: They had the worst luck of any team in recent Tour memory, losing four riders (including three contenders for the podium) in the first week and a half.

20) Astana: Astana also had a bit of bad luck, with Vinokourov crashing out early on, but they accomplished nothing without him.

19) Quick-Step: Kevin de Weert did finish in the top 15, but that was the only success for Quick-Step. Sprinters Tom Boonen and Gert Steegmans both withdrew, but even before they withdrew, they hadn't challenged for stage wins.

18) Katusha: Mikhail Ignatyev had a good crack at winning out of a breakaway one day, but that was as close as they came to accomplishing anything of note.

Best individual rider performances:

1) Thomas Voeckler: He played the role of The-Little-Frenchman-Who-Could to perfection.

2) Cadel Evans: He did that little thing called winning the race.

3) Andy Schleck: Inspired fans with an old-attack that almost won the Tour.

4) Mark Cavendish: 5 stage wins gets you on this list.

5) Thor Hushovd: 2 individual stage wins plus the team time trial and a week in yellow... good Tour, Thor.

Most enigmatic riders:

1) Jerome Coppel: Nobody is quite sure how he made the top 15.

2) J. J. Rojas: Nobody is quite sure how he was only 15 points back of Cavendish riding onto the Champs-Elysees.

3) Thomas Voeckler: Why have we never seen this before?

4) Jelle Vanendert: Where did he come from in the Pyrenees, and where did he disappear to in the Alps?

5) Vladimir Karpets: Did he knock Contador off the road or was it an accident? And why didn't he do better overall?

Award for effort most resembling a Greek god:

1) Thomas Voeckler: Any man who will hurt himself that much for a yellow jersey deserves his own masseur; fortunately Voeckler has one.

2) Andy Schleck: The attack to the Galibier will live on in Tour legend for some time to come.

3) Cadel Evans: Clawing back two minutes on the best climber in the world on the way up to the highest summit finish in Tour de France history is no small feat. To ride the best time trial of your life two days later is even more impressive, and it might just win you the Tour.

Riders to look for in the future:

1) Andy Schleck: This was the first year he was ineligible for the best young rider competition. He's still got a long career ahead of him, and everyone will be surprised if that career ends without a Tour de France victory.

2) Pierre Roland: Every young French rider who can climb is touted as the next Bernard Hinault these days, but Rolland IS the first Frenchman to win at Alpe d'Huez since Hinault did 25 years ago. Maybe, just maybe he's the real deal. Of course if he's not, there's always

3, 4) Jerome Coppel and/or Arnold Jeannesson: Both finished in the top 15, and both are young Frenchmen.

5) Rein Taaramae: Not too many Estonians have ridden the Tour de France, but Rein Taaramae looks like he might just threaten for overall victory some day. He finished 12th this year, and he looked good throughout the race.

The "Thanks-Now-Please-Leave-Award" for riders who should retire:

Ivan Basso: Congratulations on your top 10, now please go. Will be 35 by next year's Tour.

Andreas Kloden: Will be 37 by next year's Tour.

Tom Boonen: Just doesn't seem to have it anymore, and will be 32 by next year's Tour - a bit old for a sprinter.

Cadel Evans: You've soured the Tour with your surly personality for long enough. Now that you've won the thing, please just go back to rural Australia and leave the rest of the cycling world alone.

Most invisible rider award (I didn't hear these riders mentioned once in 21 days of racing):

Romain Zingle (Cofidis)

Jemerie Galland (Saur-Sojasur)

Alessandro Vanotti (Liquigas)

Brian Vandborg (Saxo-Bank Sunguard)

The seven riders on Lampre who aren't Damiano Cunego or Alessandro Petacchi, the latter of whom did nothing but was still talked about a lot.

Tour de France Recap and Highlights

Chapeau, Cadel Evans, champion of the 2011 Tour de France. It was the most exciting Tour de France in recent memory, a race in which fans became accustomed to expecting the unexpected. The herculean efforts of the Schleck brothers, Thomas Voeckler, and Alberto Contador were inspiring, but none was sufficient to unsettle the consistent and defensive Evans. Evans almost never launched an attack himself, but he was able to defend enough in the mountains and take back the time he needed in the time trial to win a memorable Tour de France.

The race for the podium began unexpectedly on day one, as several of the overall favorites were tied up behind a crash and lost over a minute to about half the race. Crashes continued to play a role throughout a tense first week, taking out a number of favorites including Jani Brajkovic, Bradley Wiggins, Chris Horner, Alexander Vinokourov, Jurgen van den Broeck, and eventually Andreas Kloden. Others, like Levi Leipheimer, Christian VandeVelde, and Ryder Hesjedal, lost serious chunks of time.

The hero of the first week, however, had to have been team Garmin-Cervelo. Thor Hushovd took third one stage won, and started the team time trial needing just six seconds on Philippe Gilbert and three seconds on Cadel Evans. Well, Garmin-Cervelo took four seconds on Evans and several more on Gilbert, and Hushovd wound up with the yellow jersey. Nobody thought he would keep it for more than a couple of days, but Hushovd rode exceptionally well, even leading out teammate Tyler Farrar for America's first ever stage win on July 4th, and managed to hold on to the jersey for a week.

Cue the hero of the second week of the Tour, Thomas Voeckler. On what was always going to be a great stage for a breakaway to succeed, Voeckler and three other great breakaway artists got into the attack along with Tour rookie Johnny Hoogerland. Sandy Casar, Luis Leon Sanchez, Thomas Voeckler, and Juan Antonio Flecha had all won stages of the Tour before, and so the stage promised to be a great one. And although it was a stage for the breakaway, with Sanchez winning his third ever stage and Voeckler taking yellow, the day will be better remembered for two horrendous crashes.

The first came on a wet descent where a number of riders crashed at the head of the peloton which caused absolute chaos. Riders flew off the road, with the worst by far being Vinokourov, who had to be helped out of a tree and back up to the road by his teammates. Vino abandoned and x-rays later revealed a break to the uppermost part of his femur. The injury was severe enough to force his retirement from professional cycling. Omega-Pharma-Lotto overall contender Jurgen van den Broeck also was forced to abandon as a result of that crash, but the worst was still to come.

As the riders in the break ramped up their speeds to respond to the slowed pace in the peloton caused by the crash, the most unbelievable of accidents happened, as a France TV car, attempting to pass the riders, swerved to avoid a tree, wiping out Juan and Antonio Flecha, and causing Johnny Hoogerland to somersault head over heels into a barbed wire fence at the side of the road. Neither would be able to make it back to Casar, Sanchez, and Voeckler, but they both finished the stage, Hoogerland bleeding heavily, and would both go on to finish the Tour de France.

With the race heading into the Pyrenees shortly, nobody knew how long Thomas Voeckler would be able to keep the yellow jersey. He has always been a good rider, but has never competed with the big guns in the high mountains. He was, undoubtedly, the surprise of the Pyrenees, as he managed to keep his jersey and lose almost no time to the major contenders for overall victory in Paris. Frank Schleck and Samuel Sanchez were both able to take a little bit of time on him, but none of the other contenders managed more than a couple of seconds.

As the peloton aimed for the Alps, the Schleck brother were sitting second and fourth overall, separated from Cadel Evans by only a handful of seconds. They knew, however, that they would need to take minutes from Evans before the time trial on the penultimate day of the Tour, and nobody knew whether or not Voeckler would crack. When Andy Schleck lost over a minute on the transitional stage leading into the Alps, everybody knew that the traditional playbook had to be thrown out the window.

On stage 18, Andy Schleck launched the most audacious assault on the yellow jersey in recent memory. Leopard-Trek had sent two men up the road in the day's breakaway, but with 60 kilometers left to race, and two enormous summits still left to cross, nobody was expecting any serious attacks. But that's where Andy decided to go. He caught everybody unawares, and rode away from the group, quickly opening up a lead of over a minute and bridging up to Joost Posthuma, who was able to give him just enough of a breather so that he summited the climb less than a minute behind other teammate Maxime Monfort, and with a gap of over two minutes back to the peloton. Monfort rode brilliantly, perhaps the best ride from any domestique I can remember in recent memory, pacing Andy down the descent, and reeling in the rest of the day's escapees before the base of the final 23km climb up to the Tour's highest ever stage finish atop the Galibier.

Andy had a gap of over four minutes at the base of the climb, and there was little doubt that unless he cracked spectacularly, he would win the stage. It was just a matter of by how much. With nobody seeming to have the legs to help Evans chase Andy up the Galibier, Evans was left to do all of the chasing himself. He rode excellently, gradually pulling back the gap to Andy. By the summit, it was just over two minutes, and Frank rode away from the group to cross the line second and give the brothers a memorable one-two on this, the Etapa Reina, or "queen stage" as it is called in Spanish. Evans, Voeckler, and the Schleck brothers all merited praise for their performances on the day. It was, however, the day on which Alberto Contador, Samuel Sanchez, and Damiano Cunego lost the Tour.

Stage 18 of the 2011 Tour de France will remain one of the greatest stages ever raced for some time to come. In the last couple of decades, no overall contender has launched such an intrepid attack. Andy certainly won the hearts of many a spectator with this attack in the style of Tour legends such as Eddy Merckx. And Thomas Voeckler captivated the hearts of French fans, for no Frenchman has ridden as been in contention for the podium in quite some time.

After stage 18, Andy had just under a minute advantage on Cadel Evans, and most people seemed to think that wouldn't be enough going into the final time trial. Though he attacked valiantly again on stage 19, following the early move of Alberto Contador, Andy simply didn't have the legs to ride away from Evans. Pierre Rolland, the young Frenchman who had ridden so brilliantly in support of Thomas Voeckler over the previous two weeks, was given free reign to attack, as Voeckler knew he didn't have the legs to keep the yellow jersey, and Rolland delivered France its first (and only) stage win atop the most famous climb in all of cycling, the Alpe d'Huez. Rolland also took the white jersey for best young rider, which he would defend in the time trial the following day to wear on the Champs-Elysees. And Sammy Sanchez secured victory in the king of the mountains, with a second-place finish atop Alpe d'Huez.

Evans put in a dominant display in the time trial on stage 20, and despite riding fantastically, the Schleck brothers couldn't keep the yellow jersey. In the days since, many pundits have critiqued the Schleck brothers' time-trialling that day, but they both finished inside the top-20 on the stage. In fact, Andy rode to within a minute of the time clocked by world time trial champion and teammate Fabian Cancellara. It was not that the Schlecks rode badly; rather, Evans rode the time trial of his life. The final standings saw the Schleck brothers second and third, Voeckler hung on for fourth, and Contador made a fantastic comeback to round out the top five. Sammy Sanchez rode an unexpectedly excellent time trial to finish 7th on the stage and 6th overall, while Italians Damiano Cunego and Ivan Basso had to settle for 7th and 8th overall respectively. American Tom Danielson, touted some years ago as the successor to Lance Armstrong rode admirably in his first Tour at age 33 and finished 9th overall, while a second Frenchman, Jean-Christophe Peraud, rounded out the top 10.

The race for the green points jersey, awarded to the best sprinter, went down to the wire. The man from the Isle of Mann, Mark Cavendish, despite his four stage wins had only a 15 point lead over Spaniard Jose Joaquin Rojas going into the final stage, but Cavendish won easily to secure the green jersey. Rojas was something of an enigma, finishing in the high places consistently but never really even threatening to win a stage. Gilbert also threw his hat into the mix in the quest for the green jersey, but although he sprints very well on uphill finishes, he was unable to compete against Cavendish and Rojas in the flatter sprints.

There were other wonderful stories from this year's Tour as well. The two Norwegians in the race, Thor Hushovd and Edvald Boasson Hagen, combined for four stage wins, in addition to the team time trial won by Hushovd's team. Jeremy Roy, and the whole FdJ team deserve enormous credit for the continual attacks. Roy was certainly the only rider who could possibly have won the prize for most aggressive rider of the Tour. He attacked constantly, and was unfortunate to be caught in the closing kilometers of stage 13 by Hushovd. Garmin-Cervelo won the team race with excellent riding in the mountains by Christian VandeVelde, Ryder Hesjedal, and Tom Danielson. The win by Hushovd from the stage 16 breakaway, out of which Hesjedal finished third, gave them a large advantage which they defended well in the Alps.

The number of young, highly talented French riders was also a great story at this year's Tour. In addition to Rolland, who won the white jersey, Arnold Jeannesson and Jerome Coppel both finished inside the overall top 15. That meant that France had five riders finish in the top fifteen, which is something of anomaly in recent Tour history. It will certainly contribute to added French excitement for next year.

Personally, I think it's a bit unfortunate that the rider who attacked least won the overall victory in Paris. Don't get me wrong, Evans rode very well, but when a rider who defends well wins the Tour de France, it takes away some of the impetus for attacking. It must be a huge disappointment for Andy as well, because he becomes the first ever rider to finish second overall in three consecutive years. But the competition itself was beautiful. Evans is a great champion. He has been one of the best cyclists in the world for over a decade, now, and has won everything except a Tour de France. Now he is undoubtedly one of the most complete cyclists of all time. Andy and Frank will be back, and one hopes that they can win a Tour de France eventually. But with Alberto Contador vowing that from now on he will only focus on winning the Tour de France, that feat may be more difficult in future years.

If you missed it, you missed out. This Tour de France was one of the most exciting, and spectacular, in years. But with so many riders riding so well, let's hope that next year's Tour brings even more fireworks. I think it just might.