Falling Asleep in Class...

A lot of people find history boring. I'm not one of them. I freaking love the subject. I think it's interesting how vowel sounds changed in England in the 15th century; I think it's interesting how Otto von Bismark unified Germany; I think it's interesting how slavery was racialized in 17th century colonial America; I think it's interesting how Stalin industrialized the USSR; etc. But yet, I must say that today's history class put even me to sleep.

How, you ask, could the historically minded Zumoman be put to sleep by a history class? Well, let me begin by saying that we have class in a relative hole in the wall classroom in the basement of the most uncomfortable academic building on campus. Second, the class is for three hours. Sitting in the same tiny room for three hours with a five minute break in the middle isn't exactly the easiest way to learn. And this is just the everyday session. Even with these conditions, I can usually manage to stay awake, but today was truly special.

Each of us researched a famous historian. We were then to present a brief (5-7 minutes) synopsis of the historian's life and contributions to the field of history. The first one or two were all right. Everyone was still getting settled and such, and so everyone was still awake. Starting with about the third person, you started seeing the head bob with a few people. You know, the head falls slowly forward or to the side, then the person realizes he's asleep and the head pops back up, only to repeat the process in the next 30 seconds.

At about the 5th or 6th person it started to get what I would call pretty bad. One guy just put his head down on the desk, and was out cold. A bunch of people had the head in the palm with the elbow on the desk, and most of the rest of the class had the head bob thing going. But I was still going strong. I had managed to procure a piece of gum from a friend of mine, and was doing everything in my power to chew the living daylights out of the gum to stay awake.

Right before our break, a guy who my friend and I had class with before presented. He's an absolutely brilliant student - maybe the brightest of the students in our class, but his way of presenting is very slow and long-winded. We placed bets on how long he would go. I said about 12; my friend said 15. I started my timer. After about six minutes (he was about at the halfway point) I realized that I was the only one who was actually paying any attention (other than one student who I can only assume must be super-human because he was taking furious notes). There were one or two students who managed to keep their eyes open, but they had the totally blank stare thing going on. It really was incredible. But I had managed for over the first half of class! Five minute break.

I felt like a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire," at a commercial break, going back to splash some water on my face to "keep it real." I had managed what I thought impossible. There were only 3 presentations left to go. Surely, I had done my part. Only one problem - my gum now tasted like moldy jello; it had to go. A bad choice. I went back into the classroom, and 2 minutes into the first session, I had the head bob going on. 4 minutes in, the had my head on my palm with the elbow on the desk. The eyes really were coming and going. I couldn't hold it. I dozed through two of the presentations.

I offer my apologies to any of you reading this whose presentations I may have dozed through. It really had nothing to do with your presentation and everything to do with my lack of gum. Professor, if you're reading this, which I can't imagine, my apologies. It's not a bad class, it was just a bad class. Sitting through that many presentations on, let's be honest, boring stuff, is just insufferable. I still love history, but we have to find a way to make it more exciting.