Who's the Bigger Ass-Hole, Vol. 3

This week, on "Who's the Bigger Ass-Hole," we'll be exploring some ass-holes from The Office: Dwight Schrute vs. Michael Scott. I know what you're thinking, "Is it really that important to analyze the tendencies towards rectal-opening behavior of two television characters?" Absolutely not, but hell, I'm bored, and you're reading this, so you can't have anything that important to do, so we'll just run with it. If you're really upset, you can blame my father; it was his suggestions (I think a good one, however. [Record it in your diary dad; I said you did something good.])

Michael - he's the boss. That automatically gives him + 17 ass-hole points. After all the stuff was stolen from the office following his carelessness in leaving it unlocked, he held a fundraiser to get people from the office to auction off things they could make to other members of the office. The highlight was supposed to be Bruce Springsteen tickets, but he never actually had them. He thinks he's better than everyone else, despite being an absolute idiot. He's a jerk to Toby, despite the fact that Toby has never done anything to him.

Dwight - He had sex with a woman who was engaged to another man. Then he tricked her into marrying him by hiring a German minister to conduct the services and telling her to say "I do" while he "pretends" to be the groom so that the actual groom can see what it will look like. Additionally, when nobody took his safety presentation seriously, he lit a fire in the office to show them the value in listening safety instructions.

I think the answer to the question of who the bigger ass-hole is is largely dependent on your perceptions of the incident involving Stanley's heart attack. On the one hand, it was directly caused by Dwight because it happened as everyone was trying to get out of the office during his "fire drill." On the other hand, the stress from being around Michael was readily apparent, so could be attributed to the long-term cause. Whoever is more at fault is probably the bigger ass-hole.

Another way of answering would be to think about who you'd rather spend a weekend with. I mean, with Michael, you might die due to his stupidity (or bad taste in music). But with Dwight, he might do something like slashing your tires because he thought it would get your attention. Or he might put a racoon in your car. Or he might have sex with your husband - I mean wife - I mean... well he might have sex with your husband too. Who knows? It's Dwight, right.

So I'll let you decide who the bigger ass-hole is. As Jose Mourinho would say, "Do it to me on the comments." As always, I want you to weigh in. Last week it seems that Ronaldo trumped Robinho in the quest for being the bigger ass-hole. Will it be Diwght or Michael - you tell me.