Stupid English, Vol. 3 - Internet Vernacular

Like many people of my generation, I am a facebook user. Facebook says that it's for "social networking" - whatever that means. I think all that "social networking" is is a nice way of hiding the fact that all facebook really does is act as a tool for procrastination. People sending messages, chatting (the most recent facebook upgrade to make it serve AIM's purpose as well), and going to pages of different groups.

I'm particularly disenchanted with this last practice. People form groups on facebook about the stupidest things. "Join this group because...", "My phone died and I need numbers", "This is a psychology project. Please join!", "1 gazillion strong for ______", etc., etc., etc. So I'm not really in too many groups. There is one, however, which I find immensely important: "Students Against Internet Vernacular."

Not only does SAIV have an appropriate acronym - in reference to our language, it also serves a valuable purpose - providing students who are incredibly put off by the LOLs, OMGs, WTFs, Ks, BRBs, and my personal favorite the ROTFLMAOs, a medium to vent their frustrations. (As an aside, I was once mercilessly made fun of for not knowing what ROTFLMAO stood for. Any idiot knows that it means "Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off." And for my generationally advanced readers, no, this is not a joke. That's actually an internetization which people use.)

So what is my vendetta against internet vernacular? Does this deteriorating diction negatively impact society? Why should any of us be remotely concerned that acronyms are taking over our speech? Well, some people aren't. Some people say "J-K" in everyday conversation. I always prefer, "that was a joke." - it's nice and condescending. So it is a little condescending, but maybe that's the point. These acronyms take any meaning out of the language. When you can type LOL in .4 seconds, you don't have to think about whether or not you're actually laughing out loud. And additionally, because it it's over the internet (or in a text message), the other person will never know!

I see this as part of the political correctness bandwagon that has consumed society and taken any passion out of our language. We can no longer speak passionately about anything for fear of offending someone. We use these internetizations as a way of diluting the language - of hiding our meanings. I think "LOL" really means, "Hah! What a stupid comment, but I'll type 'lol' to be polite so he doesn't suspect that I thought it was a stupid comment." Well, when you type that to me, I'm judging. I'm thinking, "Well, he thinks that my comment was stupid." Either that or "he's so apathetic that he couldn't bother to come up with a further addition to the conversation."

So please, the ideological background for political correctness has gone far enough. Let's not let it dilute our language further through the use of these superficial frivolities. Own your language. Demand precision in your language. Forget LOL and ROTFLMAO. And make your language mean something.